red flags vs. green flags: why this trend matters for sexual health and relationships

If you’ve been online lately, you may have seen it somewhere: “red flag or green flag?” It’s become the internet’s favorite way to decode dating behavior, communication styles, and intimacy and it resonates because it gives people the words for what feels right and what doesn’t. But beyond the memes, this trend points to something deeper: people are getting clearer about what they need to feel safe, respected, and cared for, especially when it comes to sexual health and relationships.

These aren’t just dating preferences, they’re indicators of safety, respect, and emotional intelligence.

Red Flags vs. Green Flags, Explained

Red flags are warning signs or behaviors that signal discomfort, disrespect, or potential harm. In sexual and relational contexts, red flags often show up as:

• Dismissing emotional or physical needs

• Avoiding conversations about using condoms for protection or testing

• Ignoring or pushing past boundaries

• Treating consent as a one-time checkbox

• Doesn’t check-in during or after intimacy 

• Lack of communication and consistency

• Abusive behavior, including belittling, name calling, physical violence and emotional manipulation
  

Green flags are the opposite. They’re signs that someone values communication, mutual comfort, and responsibility. Green flags create space for trust, safety, and pleasure to exist at the same time. Examples could include:

• Respecting boundaries and consent the first time, without pressure

• Open to emotional and physical needs 

• Is proactive about STI testing and open to sexual health education and discussions

• Openly talks about protection, contraception, and safer sex

• Checks in during intimacy to ensure comfort, safety, and mutual consent

• Communicating with consistency, respect, and taking accountability for one’s actions

Why Green Flags Matter More Than Ever

Talking about sexual health hasn’t always been normalized. Many people were taught to avoid “awkward” conversations, even when those conversations directly impact their wellbeing.

The green flag trend pushes back on that. It reinforces the idea that:

• Consent should be ongoing
  

• Boundaries should be respected the first time and every time after
  

• Safer sex should be proactive, not reactive
  

• Communication is a sign of care and respect

These aren’t high standards, they're healthy ones.

What Our Momentum Users Say Are Sexual Health Green Flags

When we asked our Momentum® loyalty rewards members to share their top three relationship and sexual health green flags, their responses consistently fell into a few powerful themes. While everyone’s experience is unique, these three categories stood out most. Check it out!

Respect for Boundaries, Consent, and Safety

Many Momentum® community members emphasized that true green flags show up when limits are respected immediately and consent is treated as ongoing, not optional. Here’s what our community had to say:

• “They respect boundaries the first time, check in during intimacy, and respect comfort level and care about pleasure for both.”
  

• “Respect for boundaries without needing to be told twice shows maturity and emotional intelligence.”

• “They understand getting consent, get STI testing regularly, are clear about their STI status, and actively engage in condom use.”
  

Open Communication and Transparency

Another key takeaway from our Momentum® community was the importance of clear, honest communication. Consistently named as a foundation for trust, comfort, and connection, both in and out of intimate moments. Here’s what our Momentum® community described as their green flags

• “Open conversations about feelings, expectations, and comfort levels build trust and prevent misunderstandings.”
  

• “Offer to share STI test results before being asked and aren’t afraid to talk about what feels good or bad.”
  

• “They’re open to communicating their sexual preferences and boundaries openly and what they like and don't like so there is no confusion. Open about using protection so

Mutual Care, Presence, and Follow-Through

Beyond safety, users highlighted green flags that show care, consistency, and emotional presence before, during, and after intimacy.

• “They have just as much interest in their partner’s pleasure as their own.”
  

• “Consistency in actions and words. I can relax because I know they mean what they say and follow through.”
  

• Checks in periodically, respects the safe words, and asks about safe words in the first place, before any play every time.
  

Bring Your Sexual Health Intentions Into the New Year

The new year is a perfect time to set intentions for your sexual health, whether that’s keeping condoms on hand, communicating boundaries, or prioritizing mutual comfort. And don’t forget – green flags aren’t just something to look for in others; they’re a reminder of how you can show up for yourself, too!

Want to share your perspective and be featured in the next round of ONE® blog highlights? Join Momentum® and complete challenges for your chance! With Momentum®4.0, it’s easier than ever to track progress and earn rewards for challenges, purchases, reviews, and more—all directly on our site. Points can be redeemed for condoms and other ONE® safer sex essentials, making it simple to support your sexual wellness while getting rewarded.

Stay in the know and upgrade your Momentum® experience here, or join today here.