condom conversations: how to talk about using condoms

Whether you’re in a relationship, in the dating scene or somewhere in between, talking about condoms is not always easy. It can feel awkward or weird, we get it, and that’s alright! Establishing trust can take time, so this is a totally understandable feeling. That’s why we are writing this blog, to help you prepare to bring up condom use and build trust with your partner(s) for the next time you have sex.

Key Takeaways (TL;DR) Talking About Condoms

• It is normal to be nervous when talking about condoms

• You are in control of your body and sexual health

• Discuss condom use before you have sex with your partner(s)

• You can always change your mind about condom use

• Make it fun with different types and styles of condoms!

How to Start the Condom Conversation 

Starting the conversation about condom use is half the battle, so we recommend practicing by yourself. You can do this in the mirror, in the car or just in your head! This can be something as simple as “I stay prepared, I have some condoms in my bag we can use!” or a larger conversation around STI status and condom use. The most important piece is that you make sure your partner knows safer sex matters to you and which methods you plan to use to protect yourself from unintended pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

Preparing for the response is just as important as preparing to start the conversation! Some things you may hear when you insist on condom use could be: “But aren’t you on the pill?” or “Don’t you trust me?” Remember: You are in control of your body and your health. When you’re talking about condom use with a partner, make sure your message is clear. You could say: “I want to use condoms because I want to protect myself from unintended pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs),” or “I will not have sex with you unless we use condoms.”

When Should I Talk About Condoms With My Partner(s)?

Talk about condoms before sex.

Here at ONE, we love talking about condoms. But we know sometimes talking about condom use can be difficult, especially if you’re naked and in the heat of the moment. So, start the conversation way before sex. Whether it’s at dinner, in the park, on a date, or wherever.

Remember: Other than abstinence, condoms are the only way to protect yourself from both unintended pregnancy and STIs.

But, this doesn’t mean that it has to be before the first time you have sex. You can always change your mind. Condom conversations are not a one-and-done deal, discussions around consent and protection should be continuous and you are allowed to take away consent at any time for any reason.

You have every right to insist on condom use, even if you’ve already had sex with a person without a condom.

You may hear feedback, such as:

• "But don't you trust me?"
• "Does this mean you're seeing other people?"
• "Don't you love me?" 
• "Did you find out you have an STI or something?"

Again, remember: You are in control of your health, and you have the right to insist on condom use. Have a conversation about condom use before you have sex, and clearly explain why you want to use condoms. A healthy, respectful relationship is one where partners respect each other’s decisions and needs when it comes to their health and safety.

Condom Negotiation Strategies

Now that you have established this boundary and had the condom talk, it is time to take the next step! Some strategies that will help ease the conversation include:

Making sure you have condoms

Here’s a key point: You can’t use a condom unless you have a condom. That’s just...science! So make sure to have condoms ready. We sometimes hear people say “I can’t carry condoms because people will think I’m a slut/player/[insert other similar term here].” You know what? We believe having condoms is actually: responsible, healthy, being prepared, commendable, educated, common sense, fun, exciting, playful — you name it. Stigma is still a big issue when it comes to sex and sexuality, so let’s break down the stigma by having open conversations and displaying our condoms with pride.

Have ONE amazing, fun time with condoms

There are so many condoms to choose from, whether it’s shape, color, size, texture or flavor. And this is a great way to talk about condoms in a fun, silly way that eases the pressure and can make sex even more pleasurable for you and your partner(s).

As condom enthusiasts, our team has spent over a decade finding ways to make safer sex more colorful, fun and exciting with ONE® Condoms. So, here are a few ideas:

• Perhaps you can try a colored condom to spice up the night?
• Use a glow-in-the-dark condom for some Jedi fun.
• Yum: Make sex more delicious with a flavored condom.
• Pair your condom with some vibrating sensations.
• Use a thinner condom to get closer than ever.
• Try a larger condom if the current one you’re using is too tight.
• Discuss your favorite ONE design as a way to introduce condoms to your relationship.

Conclusion: Say it loud and proud. I love condoms! 

In short, the condom conversation is what you make of it. When you know your boundaries are being met, you will feel more comfortable, making the experience that much more pleasurable.

Questions? Comments?

Have additional ideas on how to start conversations about condoms and safer sex? Contact us and let us know! We’d love to hear from you. Together We Are One.